This morning a new pair of shoes arrived with the postman. So for a start, that’s a great reason to get out of bed. I unwrapped them with glee filled excitement to find a shoe box with a message:
I am a person who loves a coincidence and looks for weird and freaky happenstance at any opportunity. So in a week that thunder has kept me awake at least 3 times and a fortnight that has not been entirely brilliant, a serendipitous shoe box giving me words of wisdom feels like a good way to go in to the weekend. And it certainly made me smile. The shoe Gods are intervening, and I will take anything I can get.
Quick recap on the treatment saga. The second cycle of targeted therapy had to be delayed due to my white blood cell count falling below the required level. We eventually went ahead with the second cycle on a lower dose. The theory with this drug being that it will drop the cell count, so the dose is 3 weeks on, one week off. The week off is there to give the bone marrow a chance to recover and produce enough cells to start the next cycle. As we know, my body doesn’t seem to like convention. Last week I went to the treatment centre at the end of the 2nd cycle. The blood test showed the shite (for that is what they are now) cells to be lower than they have ever been: 1.5 with the neutrophils barely registering. That makes me neutropenic. I should tell you that it’s quite scary knowing your body has no resources to fight off the slightest cold, heal the tiniest scratch etc. That aside, given that was the start of the “off cycle” we all hoped that they would recover in the next week. Nobody will be surprised to hear that this week the shite cells were only at 2.1 with no increase on the neutrophils. The big man was called and he postponed treatment again and will drop the dose AGAIN when the count has gone up. It’s a very dull tale of hurry up and wait. I am frustrated that the treatment is not going according to plan. It is also concerning that 3 and half months after the secondary diagnosis I am only past the second cycle of treatment. It scares me. The recovery isn’t quick enough and I keep being reminded that there is disease in my bones so they are not able to produce the cells efficiently. And I had radiotherapy. And and and blah blah blah. We will see what next week brings. If you are interested here is a short lesson in white blood cells.
On a more positive note, I have started having acupuncture for the hot flushes. My hope is that I can get a good night sleep without too many meltdowns. Because sleep fixes everything, right? I can’t have HRT or any of the natural remedies that many “power surging” women take because they are all based on increasing oestrogen, which is what feeds my tumours. The needles go in my feet, legs, stomach, hand and arm. It doesn’t hurt at all except when they have anything to do with the liver. I will have a few sessions and see how it goes but I am very optimistic and am really interested in a holistic approach to managing this.
Otherwise, I refuse to stay in and wrap myself up in cotton wool so the walks continue, between storms. The blossom and beauty at this time of year is just stunning. The peonies keep on coming. I have a family of baby swans tootling about outside my window. I totally loved the royal wedding. My ice cream addiction has given way to multiple afternoon teas. And I ain’t complaining. It’s June ~ and I bloody love June.
Bring the thunder…
Big love, AG x
#macmillan #breastcancercare #acupuncture